This sounds like one of those annoying notes forwarded by friends to other friends on Facebook. It probably is. And why not continue the annoying tradition in blog form. I just felt like writing this, because I’m mildly bored. Yet find this mildly amusing. Even though it’s extremely mediocre.
1) Great bumper sticker idea for Rochester – Hey, at least we don’t get hurricanes.
2) Do you value life more than food?
3) I don’t mind if people cut me off while driving – I just assume they’re rushing to the hospital for an emergency.
4) Make the last thing you say to someone at the end of the day something positive. In case they die.
5) Unless you really dislike them, then don’t say anything at all.
6) Ignore mean people if you can. But call them out if you need to stand up for yourself so it won’t happen again.
7) Let drivers cut in line if there’s a red light. It makes them happy, and they might do the same for someone else.
8) Wake up feeling grateful for what you have. Even if it’s not necessarily what you want.
9) I can’t believe I was planning to write out 99 thoughts. What kind of moron am I.
10) Don’t make excuses in life. Everything should be intentional.
11) The couple who reads together stays together.
12) Know that most people are going through some kind of hard times in their lives. Treat them as kindly as possible in case they are.
13) If someone goes through a traumatic experience, express your condolences. Whether you heard of it directly or indirectly. And whether or not they were close to you. Every little bit of compassion helps.
13) Arguing about politics shouldn’t be a sport. I wish people could debate in a civilized manner.
14) Facebook became a platform for how not to communicate directly with people anymore. Reading peoples’ statuses all day feels like stalking. Say hi once in awhile, at least in an e-mail or something.
15) There’s a difference between good writing and bad writing – that doesn’t mean bad writing isn’t entertaining, and vice versa.
16) Try to spell correctly if you can. It’s hard enough to try to get your point across without sounding totally incompetent.
17) If I won the lotto, I’d buy a bunch of umbrellas, put them in the backseat of my car, and hand them out randomly to people walking in the rain.
18) And I wouldn’t deliberately splash them by running over puddles.
19) Be mindful.
20) If you’re dealing with a difficult co-worker, kill them with kindness. It really makes them feel like a dick.
21) Dietary restrictions should be limited to people who have severe allergic reactions and not mild dislikes.
22) Phone calls should only be made to 911, or to tell your significant other to pick up milk on the way home.
23) Alcohol is not evil. One drink does not make you an alcoholic. Drinking at noon probably does.
24) The word ‘obedient’ is evil. It has negative connotations for me.
25) Having ideas is not considered evil. Ideas come from creativity. Creativity is not evil either.
26) I never liked the saying ‘I told you so’. Since it always makes the person you’re saying it to feel like crap. And there’s really no point to the saying, except to make the other person feel like crap.
27) You should never feel like you owe someone anything. I rather feel free to give than feel I have to give.
28) Stop talking about how fat you are, to someone who is obviously bigger than you. It makes others feel bad about themselves.
29) I can’t stand women who say they hate other women who are skinnier than them. It’s your fault for feeling bad about yourself, not theirs.
30) Get over yourself. We all have our own insecurities.
31) It’s better to be early than to be late.
32) Don’t flake out on your friends for no good reason.
33) Don’t bash someone’s ex the minute they break up. It becomes awkward for you when they get back together.
34) The sun will shine again. Even though it’s cloudy and rainy now.
35) The glass is half full when it’s a glass of water. The glass is half empty when it’s a glass of wine.
36) Don’t ask an Asian where they were born if they have absolutely no accent. It’s rude.
37) Don’t ask an Asian if they are highly intelligent if you are at the check-out line at the bookstore. Incredibly rude.
38) The word Asian refers to people, oriental refers to rugs.
39) I have a big fancy leather purse because it will last me 10+ years, so I don’t have to spend $20 every 6 months on a new purse. Understand math? GET OFF MY BACK!
40) I have shoes for the exact same reason. So I don’t have to go buy them again and again and again.
41) I don’t understand what’s in season or out of season in fashion. Nor do I really care.
42) I’m proud to say my outfits range from $7-25. Since I either rip holes in them, or stain them weekly with food.
43) I apparently only wear white when I’m eating things with spaghetti sauce.
44) Puns are fun. Use them when you write.
45) Smiling creeps me out when it’s not genuine.
46) Analogies are fun too. Use those when you write also. When they don’t quite make sense, they’re hilarious.
47) Please make your comments in blogs as genuine as your smile. Writing ‘wonderful!’ or ‘great post!’ or ‘excellent!’ is so generic.
48) Negative comments on blogs, or hate mail, is incredibly rude and hurtful. If you don’t like it, go read something else and move on.
49) Blogs are very personal, express an individual’s thoughts and beliefs, and should be treated as such. Nothing more.
50) Don’t be a platform for hate-mongering.
51) Complaining and whining are two separate things to me. Complaining is expressing a concern with the possibility of a solution. Whining sounds pitiful with no means to a solution. I tend to complain a lot. At least, I think I do.
52) Sometimes, people want someone to listen to them, not necessarily to offer solutions to problems. So listen to them.
53) Don’t try to appeal to the masses when you write. Write what you feel.
54) How many hits you get doesn’t really matter in the end.
55) I have a lot of useless thoughts.
56) You must be really bored if you’re still reading this.
57) Or…mildly amused.
58) It does look like one long twitter feed, doesn’t it?
59) I play Seinfeld episodes in my head all day. It keeps ME amused.
60) Seinfeldian should be a word already.
61) This is actually pretty fun. You guys should all write a list of random thoughts.
62) A long time ago, someone told me that things that normally bother people don’t bother me, and things that don’t bother normal people, bother me.
63) Sometimes I forget to eat. Yes, I have a food blog, yet I actually forget to eat meals.
64) I crave food but am hardly ever hungry.
65) I’m surprised I made it this far down the list.
66) I didn’t go to my High School Reunion because I went to Hawaii instead. I tried spreading the rumor I was married to a male model also.
67) I ran 5 times a week, 5 miles a day, for 3 months earlier this year. I gained a pound.
68) I stopped running 5 times a week and only run 1-2 times a week now.
69) I don’t drink wine because it’s classy. I drink it because I like the taste of it.
70) I like black coffee too. I like really bitter things.
71) Sugar in coffee gives me acid reflux. Don’t ask me why…
72) When I was considering starting a blog, I told Chris, who replied ‘A blog?! Whaddaya got to say?!’
73) I’m quite mouthy. Just ask my family/relatives.
74) I was actually considering starting a miscarriage blog, to provide a forum for women and men to talk about dealing with the loss of their baby. But it was too depressing and I realized I couldn’t handle it.
75) But I cooked everyday, so I figured I’d do a food blog. Even though my cooking was pretty limited.
76) But the words keep coming outta my mouth nonetheless. And we all need to eat, right?
77) Then I realized I couldn’t just talk about food. So I made this dumb post.
78) Because who just thinks about food and nothing else all day? Besides my dear husband?
79) Well, that doesn’t put the delicious Triscuits in my belly now, does it?! (quote from guess which movie?)
80) You can’t determine your self-worth by how much money you make.
81) Quality is more valuable than quantity. Especially with food.
82) That’s what she said.
83) If you judge people with preconceptions based on race, sex or age, you will never get a great joke when it punches you in the face.
84) I almost spent an hour on this post and there were no pretty pictures!
85) This is actually a really good writing exercise, you should all try it.
86) My English teacher in college made us write random thoughts for 10 minutes of class each day. It helps with your creativity.
87) I heard the words ‘meaningless’ and ‘gibberish’ coming from my hubby in the other room. He was probably referring to this insanely long post. Ha. Ha.
88) Though….after I read this post, I might realize it didn’t help with my creativity whatsoever.
89) But it might help you realize you have far more potential than I do!!!
90) Don’t make fun of someone’s clothes, weight or looks. It makes you seem small.
91) Gossip IS evil. I don’t partake in it.
92) My cat loves to head-butt me as I write this. Chris thinks he has mild (ok, severe) brain defects.
93) It’s ok to have opinions. It’s not ok to push them on people.
94) Sometimes, we don’t know the entire story within a situation. So we can’t judge based on what little facts we actually know.
95) This list reminds me of that song that is narrated by William Shatner. I demand someone to find that song for me.
96) Be sensitive to people’s emotions.
97) Live life on purpose.
98) Wake up every morning for a reason.
99) I really wish I didn’t choose to say 99 things.
You rock! Really, you do. I’ve been coming back to your blog about once a week since summer… and you always put a smile on my face. Thank you.
Thanks for the comment Katherine! That makes my day :)
LOVE THIS ENTRY!! I found it more than just mildly amusing though! I’m going to start writing a 99 list of my own right now.
Go for it! Let’s start the trend now…
#82 LOL
#95 Common People? Although he is sorta singing in that one….kinda, a little bit.
I’m sure Chris would argue that he is, in fact, a male model and such information should not be treated as a “rumor” ;)
It would definitely be true for the younger improved model!
April – No…I think it’s the sunscreen song, and it might not even have William Shatner in it. I was pretty far off. Unless the sunscreen song IS common people?
Irish Pirate – I wonder if Chris has read this at all. I wonder what happened at my reunion.
Super’stud’ – the younger model has some quirks in it too.