That’s it. I’ve had it. I played nice. Even after taking a position and agreeing that shark finning is wrong, I still get so much HATE it’s insane. Really, you want us all to get hit by a bus? You would actually hit me with your car? REALLY????? I wouldn’t ever wish that upon any of you. If you people ever want anyone to listen to you, I would suggest not spreading the hate and maybe, just maybe you can keep the lines of communication open long enough to spread knowledge of this issue. Offending people, insulting them, and threatening to kill them tends to….how do you say….make others clam up and possibly take legal action?
Because death threats are not the way to go. Stop being a bunch of bullies imposing your ideas on others by threatening violence. No one will listen if you’re being a jerk.
I’ve created a soup especially for you in response to your hatred. If you don’t have a sense of humor, well, stop reading and go complain somewhere else.
Sarcasm is my stress-reliever.
This photo is not of the actual endangered soup, but of mushroom soup. No mushrooms were inhumanely slaughtered for this photo. The parsley was plucked by hand while the plant was still alive while classical music was being played in the background. The china bowl was made by grains of sand, each hand picked from a local beach and fired in a kiln in my backyard that I made out of stone that I carried 5 miles down the road on my back uphill. The photo was taken with a camera made of wheat grass and recycled plastic made with wind energy. The cloth backdrop was knitted personally by me with all organic thread and ink and wooden needles, and I used a thimble made with a plastic bottle cap. The spoon, well, I let that one slip through the cracks. But I wrote this post on a computer I made at home using popsicle sticks and hemp.
Endangered Soup
Ingredients:
- 2 left panda paws, discard the right ones
- 1 snow leopard ear, discard the other ear
- one drop of blood from the following: Spotted Hyena, Gray Whale, Seal, Manatee, Wolf and Otter
- 8 beaks from 8 Bald Eagles, discard the remainder of the eagles
- 1/2 a tail of an Iberian Lynx, discard remainder of the Lynx
- the right wing of a Californian Condor, discard the left one
- 4 gallons of fancy bottled water that needs to be flown halfway around the world
- 5 McDonalds big macs (for extra flavor)
- Partially hydrogenated oil
- Corn Syrup
- an SUV, preferably a Hummer
- A tanning bed
*If animal is located overseas and needs to be flown to your location, make sure to order 3 times as much for said ingredient. You know, just in case. You can always discard the unused animals later.
**Also make sure the animal is kept fresh by packing it on glacial ice from Antarctica.
Directions:
1) Find the largest, most expensive luxury pot you can use. Preferably made of some precious metal that took hours of unnecessary labor to dig up from the earth. Dump all ingredients into pot. Simmer for 8 hours.
2) While soup is simmering, use the time to drive around in circles in your SUV until you’ve used a full tank of gas for 4 hours. If you run out of gas during those 4 hours, fill your gas tank again. Drink bottled water and throw the empty plastic bottles out the window. The human body needs at least 8 glasses of water a day, so drink up!!!
3) During the next 4 hours, lay on your tanning bed until you begin to crinkle with a glowing orange hue. Don’t bother wearing those protective eye thingies. Because by the time the 4 hours are up, your eyes are the last things you should worry about.
4) Serve soup while it is still hot. Eat one bowl of soup, using a spoon carved out of ivory and reheating it in the microwave in a plastic bowl the moment it gets cold. Be sure to stare at the microwave head on as it reheats. When you finish one bowl of soup, dump the rest in the trash, no leftovers are necessary.
Love. Will make this for dinner tonight :P
Haha, this is great :P Sorry you’re getting so much hate over the shark fin soup, even after you agreed it was wrong, that really sucks.
I really like your new header by the way :)
Mmmmmm, I love a big steamy bowl of sarcasm on a cold night.
Could you post some of the hate e-mails without using any names? Sometimes people just spew out so much stuff in an e-mail, but might feel embarrassed if their stuff is out in the open. And also, I’d just start deleting those hate e-mails because they’re looking for a reaction.
this soup goes especially well with gaegogi, or any dog meat dish, for that matter. i served it once at my annual republican seal clubbing gala and it received terrific reviews.
Mmmmm…I love me some endangered animal soup.
Seriously, some people need to pick more important battles than verbally attacking you.
Irish Pirate – lemme know how it turns out! :P
Jen – It’s been a good experience. It makes me aware of how many crazies are out there spreading hate rather than knowledge. You really like the header??? I was meaning to change it…
April – I wanted to poke fun at how many things we do wrong in the world to the point of absurdity, yet how many of us point fingers when we ourselves do these things? We can drive our car to the supermarket, buy whole ingredients shipped halfway across the world, most of which we are uncertain where they came from, etc. etc. etc. How dare people judge one another. The world is messed up enough as it is. I should really cook something today and get in a happier mood… :P
Hummingbird – I deleted the ones that went to my spam. I left the few e-mails posted. As long as people aren’t insulting other readers, or myself on my blog then I’ll leave it up.
Bonnie – I’m seriously going to look up gaegogi now, because it sounds like a real word.
Angela – Seriously!!!
Hey SB, hang in there. These people are ridiculous. If you stop blogging, those irrational people win. Soon enough, the heat will die down.
TO ALL OF YOU DUMBASSES WHO ARE BOTHERING OUR BELOVED SOUPBELLY GET A LIFE!! Instead of going after individuals who are sharing a part of their lives to their readers, why don’t you go after the real culprits, which are the canneries and manufacturers. Intimidation through threats and ignorant comments is not helping your cause!! BACK THE F OFF!!
Oh, and by the way SB, you don’t have to explain anything to those people, or to us for that matter. Just keep writing a great blog like your doing! We, your readers support you 100%!
The soup turned out great! I found a Dodo wandering around our apartment complex – it made a lovely roast to go along with this soup garnished with some Passenger pigeon eggs…
There’s nothing better than drowning out the screams of parsley with the beautiful sounds of classical music. Ok, off to go throw some plastic water bottles into the ocean!
Oh how I <3 your humor :)
Joan – Thank you so much for your support. It’s nice to know there’s people like you out there defending shark fin soup photographers. And you’re right that I don’t have to explain anything. I don’t know why I keep doing it. It never seems to help anyway. Take me as I am, I guess.
Irish Pirate – I heard Dodos are quite tasty. Pigeon eggs are a new one, hopefully we can eat enough of those to wreak havoc on our ecosystem too.
New Neighbor – be sure to save the bottle caps so you can make a dress out of them later.
There really is such a thing as gaegogi. Doug had it in Korea when he was invited to dinner at the home of a KATUSA soldier. No, he didn’t know what he was eating, but I’m not sure it would have mattered. He was honored to be there.
I love your sarcasm. :)
The hate mail you’ve been getting is from the fringe…the same fringe that kills doctors who perform abortions. Scary people. I’d be sure to keep records, and report them if you get any real threats.
Wow, I don’t read you for a couple of days and all this happens! People are crazy. And narrow-minded. A dangerous combination, especially if they also have no sense of humor.
Your endangered soup sounds great. I think I’m going to jump in one of my three Hummers, go to the store, beat up little kids and steal their candy and throw that in the soup as well.
Chey – Interesting…I heard a story of another guy who was eating gaegogi from a street cart (a soldier) and didn’t realize what it was either. Of course, once he found out he started choking.
Chiara – Hey, you gotta keep up with all the drama that’s been going on here! I keep this place exciting for you! I should’ve posted the turkey dinner I ate this past weekend, but I wouldn’t want to be called a turkey killer. Or potato killer. Or squash killer.
i want that soup right away!! sound rili delicious!! yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!