I have a hard enough time buying myself clothes and matching outfits, let alone for a baby. As I was looking for things to add to a baby registry, I ended up with 4 different bedding sets (with 4 different color schemes) and a plethora of quasi-useful thermometers. Should I go with rectal (*shudder*), ear, forehead, or armpit? WHAT DO I DO?! Am I a bad mother if I choose a crib that’s less money than another one? Am I weak because I can’t lift a 2 ton stroller travel system in and out of my trunk without a forklift? Do I really need a nasal aspirator to suck out snot from my baby’s nose? Why can’t I use a normal nail clipper instead of a baby nail clipper? Why are you asking me about my boobs and whether I plan to use them for breastfeeding? Why are people making bets that I’ll be begging for an epidural (especially from those who have never been pregnant)? Why are you asking me how much weight I’ve gained?

I’m not expecting any answers for these questions, it was mainly written as rhetorical and comical ranting. Though I’m confident in my decisions about basic child-rearing, and that I’ll learn most of it as I go, I’m not confident in choosing a color scheme. I didn’t realize colors were such a big deal. I was just going to pick something gender neutral…with yellows and greens. I’m not a big pink lace and frilly ruffles type of person. Sure, we’ll accept anything people want to give us…and I’ll bet most of it will be pink. Pink for girl, with the words ‘Daddy’s little princess’ written across every article of clothing using plastic rhinestones. I almost threw up a little in my mouth just thinking about it. I’m sure my husband would be embarrassed too. I don’t think either of us want to raise a princess.

That doesn’t mean I’d go to the extent of only buying gray, black and brown androgynous potato sack-like uniforms (I doubt they even exist). It also doesn’t mean I refuse to let her wear ANY pink clothing. On top of all that, did you know that pink is psychologically the most unsettling and disturbing color in the spectrum? And blue is the most soothing? Something for you to think about….

I know that I’m putting way too much thought into this, when I should be researching the ideal nasal aspirator with successful capability of snot sucking with gentle pressure.

Speaking of colors, I’m getting a bit tired of hearing “Oh, your baby will be so pretty, since it’s bi-racial.” WTF? I hear this at least once a week. Even before we were pregnant, even before Chris and I were married. I mean, I guess it’s better than hearing we’ll have an ugly baby. I know this is meant as a compliment, but it offends me. Does that mean if I married an Asian, our baby wouldn’t be as pretty? Is she prettier because her skin color will be a little lighter? Her eyes less slanted? What are you trying to say, huh?

It’s probably just me, but I want my daughter growing up understanding that anyone can be pretty, but being intelligent goes farther in life. I’m not raising a bimbo.

My best guess as to what the baby will look like once it comes out of the womb.

*shudder*