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Babies are full of rainbows and unicorns.

rolypoly

Our little roly poly baby, looking mischievous as always.

Sleep is the most precious commodity that we don’t have.

I haven’t updated in awhile so I figured I might as well, since it’s 4:55am and I have nothing else to do except cross my fingers and hope baby sleeps at least an hour. It’s been one of those nights. My husband held her for 4 hours so she and I could sleep tonight. When I took over the shift, I was able to put her down to bed but I’m doubtful it’ll last. We think she’s teething WITH tummy troubles, on top of that we just moved her into her nursery.

It’s been 7 weeks of crappy sleep for all of us. If you looked up ‘crappy sleep’ in the dictionary you’d see a picture of us all looking pissed at each other in bed. Before the crappy sleep, she had been sleeping 9-12 hours straight with no problem. I don’t know exactly why the crappy sleep happened, but it was probably a combination of things. It all started the day after her checkup at the pediatrician. After getting her vaccines (and not even all of them, just half for now) she went from 12 hours sleep to 1-3 hours before waking up. I’d blame the doctor’s visit, or the vaccines, or the way the nurse put the band-aids on her thighs, or the way the doctor looked at her, but the crappy sleep just went on and on for weeks after that.

So we thought it was teething. She had been biting on everything. She enjoyed cold teething rings. Maybe that was the problem. Well, 7 weeks later and we are still waiting for her to cut a tooth, any tooth. We just all want relief. Then we thought maybe she was in pain from having a growth spurt. Then we thought maybe she had tummy troubles. Then we thought she was just being a big baby. Then we (I) thought it was my husband’s loud snoring. Then we thought it was the cats clawing on our bedroom door. Then we thought life wasn’t fair and threw pity parties every night, wondering what we got ourselves into as we cried into our pillows. That’s all our pillows are good for nowadays. Ok, we didn’t really cry about it.

Every once in awhile, she’d sleep 5 hours straight, before her 1-3 hour increments. What was funny was that every time I woke up after 5 hours I was sooooo excited I got 5 hours that I couldn’t fall back asleep. It was sick.

I’m posting this just to get it off my chest. Yes, we have tried all the recommendations from parents who’ve been there. But it all comes down to how this is the way it is. For now. I think a lot of parents don’t talk about these problems or make light of it because they don’t want to seem like those parents, the ones who can’t handle anything. I especially don’t want to be the mom who can’t handle taking care of my own baby. Though that’s what it seems like most of the time. Recently I told a friend I was afraid of saying I was stressed because it made me look weak. Everything has to be rainbows and unicorns.

Not that I dislike everything about motherhood. During the day she’s the most perfect baby. Rainbows and unicorns DO come out onto her diapers. She squeals and laughs when we play picaboo. She opens her mouth wide like a baby bird waiting to be fed the moment I plop her into her high chair, banging her chubby little fists on the tray. She looks at me with wide eyes as she raises her arms for me to hold her. She sticks her tongue out because it makes me laugh, which in turn makes her laugh. She calls me daddy (ok, that’s something I’m not totally enjoying, but I’ll take it). Nighttime is a different story. I remind myself that all of this will only happen once, and to enjoy the good moments. She is a happy, healthy baby that just has some sleep issues. There are a lot worse things in life than this.



10 thoughts on “Babies are full of rainbows and unicorns.”

  • My word, she’s just adorable!! The last thing you probably want to hear is “it will get better” so lets pretend I didn’t say it. (but it will)

  • This too shall pass.

    We’re struggling with sleep association problems now also. My LO recently rolled over from back to tummy making it a “no-no” to swaddle him. Swaddling him was his cue to settle down and sleep and it worked every time. Now, we’re on to the CIO. And its awful because then I CIO. (cry it out). I hate it. And I suck it at.

    Hang in there. Growing this fast has to be hard for them! And those teeth can take months! Truly. You’re doing great!

    I love how big she is! Ours has just struggled and struggled to gain from the get go despite the medicine, cramming lots of meals down his throat, and me adhering to a cruel no milk, soy, nuts, citrus diet.

    Anyway – you can do this! You’re already doing it!

  • Marie – I hope it comes back soon! And that after she sleeps through the night again, that I sleep through the night also!

    April – I know it will. People told me it’ll get better after the 1st month, and it did. I know this will pass too.

    Sheila – Mine still hasn’t rolled yet. I think she’s a bit lazy…:P But she enjoys sitting up. We can’t do CIO, I tried it for a nap once. It took 45 minutes of me checking on her every 5 minutes, and she cried the entire time. She didn’t nap and it ruined the whole day’s routine. The best sleep situation is that she co-sleeps with me in the bed, because she only wakes up once the entire night, while my hubby sleeps on the couch. Of course this isn’t ideal for any of us besides the baby. I might try sleeping in the nursery with her and slip out each night, until she doesn’t notice or care I’m gone anymore. I’m probably naive but I’m trying everything except CIO.
    I’m sure you’re doing a great job too. At least you figured out the food sensitivies for your baby. Mine still has tummy troubles but we haven’t figured out what it is I’m eating that causes it once in awhile. At least its once every few weeks and not every night, so I’m not that worried about it. I hope it all passes soon.

  • Some things about parenting are just crappy. Sleep issues is probably top of the list for me. My little ones are 4 and 2. I’m pretty sure I haven’t slept through the night in 4 years. It sucks. Some things do. On the bright side, your little on is absolutely adorable!

  • i couldn’t handle not sleeping. my daughter woke up every half an hour to eat for about three months straight and it aged me about 8 years. i was begging my mother to euthanize me and all she would say was ‘pretty soon you’ll forget all about this!’ and she’s lucky my idea of babyproofing my house was to remove all of the guns.
    i figured out that the little one will sleep if she is in a swing. so she slept in her swing until she was about a year old. i went through a thousand D batteries. i kept this information to myself because it says all over the swing not to do this and in this day and age even looking at a baby wrong is child abuse. but it worked.
    cry-it-out is the worst ever. all my friends did that and it and yelled at me for not doing it but i can’t not answer when my kid needs me. you are a very good mama, i promise your pretty little girl will trust you completely when she’s older because you too care of her every time she cried.

  • I know exactly how you feel! Thank you for being so brave and honest! We are having the same problem with our 3 1/2 month old. I think what makes the tiredness worse is the fact that you can’t plan your night. My husband and I have the shift thing going on which frustrates me, because he only has to get up twice for a feeding (3 hours sleep) where on my shift I have to feed him every hour or 2 if I’m lucky. It’s like it’s taboo to say your tired and it makes you miserable when you struggle like this, because people tell you your complaining and you feel guilty. I say share =) I just have faith that it will pass and we will have bliss.

  • You poor thing I feel for you and I have been there. I am now a Grandmother and just became a Greatgrandmother last April. I have raised three children. The best advise anyone ever gave me was not to let the child train you- you are the one in charge. We were in such desperate need of sleep I wouldn’t even vaccum for fear I would wake our son. We were zombies!! Sorry all of you that cannot let the little one cry longer than five minutes…you will be sorry. I did let them cry it out and yes it does work AND I have always been there for my kid’s. You do have to guide them- train them for life. Good luck to all you Mommies enjoy it now because it goes by so fast you will turn around and poof you are a Grandmother!!

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