âBuh-Bas!!!!â â quote from baby
Rather than explain with words how Iâm feeling lately, let me show you with some pie charts, because I feel like putting my Illustrator skills to use every couple years:
Get it? Ok.
Baby is nearly 11 months now. Sheâs standing up, taking a couple steps here and there before squatting down on all fours to crawl. Today she somehow took her pants off and started waving them at me. She also learned how to throw toys at the TV. She pushed the spoon of oatmeal away angrily and reached out for the fresh cut up plums instead. She looks up to the fireplace mantle where the bubbles are and says, âbuh-bas!â. She says âmo miâ for âmore milkâ. She calls me mama, her dad âdadaâ, birds âbirsâ, dogs âdoggyâ, yells ânoâ for almost everything, waves hi, says âbuh-byeâ to toys she throws on the floor, takes the books out of shelves and flips the pages as she âreadsâ, brings me books and toys, plays ball, and plays Clair de lune on the piano.
Ok, that last part isnât true. But many people have been asking how babyâs been doing. And rather than rattling off a list of milestones/accomplishments, I shrug my shoulders and say, âokâ or âeverythingâs fineâ. Sometimes I feel like if I say anything more, it sounds like Iâm bragging about my kid. And that annoys me. Which is also why I donât put up facebook updates exclaiming each milestone. But I do post pictures like every week. Which probably annoy most of my friends.
Once u have a kid, the friends you had before, the single ones, the childless ones, seem to drift off. I actually got a comment from a distant âfriendâ saying, âIâd say she (your baby) was cute, but you know I donât like kids.â He then proceeded to show me pictures of his new car, because that was something to rave about. Needless to say, that was probably the last conversation weâd have.
I donât really push conversations about my kid to people in general though. I can understand that a lot of you honestly donât care, and thatâs completely fine. You can always skip the kid posts I write and move onto the food posts. The food posts are my way of keeping the .002% of what I was before having a kid. It makes me feel normal again. Lately it seems all I am is a cook, a milk provider, and a cleaning lady. I miss having conversations that donât involve babies.
At the same time, if anyone asked me if I wouldâve preferred my life before baby, Iâd say no.