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How To Diet During The Postpartum Period

How To Diet During The Postpartum Period

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What a typical day would consist of:

8 a.m. – Feed toddler breakfast. Choke down quarter cup of scalding hot coffee as your toddler incessantly whines that she needs help going to the potty. Before drinking the other 3/4 cup of coffee, your baby needs to nurse. Nurse your baby.

9 a.m. – Now that your coffee is cold, drink it making a face. Watch your husband eat breakfast he made for himself as your stomach growls.

10 a.m. – Get showered as fast as possible before the baby wakes up from her nap. Nurse waking baby.

11 a.m. – Choke down half a cup of yogurt as your toddler needs help with her legos or your baby wants to be held. Drink 3 cups of water to calm your rumbling stomach.

12 noon – Make your toddler and yourself lunch. Just as you are about to eat, your baby needs to nurse at precisely the exact same time. Nurse your baby.

12:30 p.m. – You have been jittery and shaking for the past 3 hours from not eating enough. Choke down your sandwich and 2 cups water as fast as possible.

1:00 p.m. to 5:00 p.m. – Run errands, play with kids, clean the house, etc. The jittery feeling never goes away and you start getting moody. Eat a nutritious snack of water and cube of cheese before making dinner.

6 p.m. – Just as everyone sits down for dinner, the baby needs to nurse (surprise!). Nurse baby and stare longingly as you watch your husband and toddler enjoy their nice hot meals. Watch in contempt, jealousy and resentment.

7 p.m. – Choke your cold dinner down fast enough so you can tend to a whiny toddler’s needs (potty, dessert, etc.) Wash dishes and clean up kitchen as the baby cries because she needs to cluster feed before bed. Nurse baby again.

8 p.m. – Bath-time for the kids. Nurse baby again.

8:30 p.m. – Toddler goes to bed. Drink 3 glasses of water from baby nursing so much.

8:30 to 11 p.m. – Baby nurses 3-4 times until she passes out for the night. Put her to bed and drink a beer, you deserve it.

You have unknowingly eaten very little cold food because you don’t have enough time to eat, and drank tons of water to calm a growling stomach throughout the day. While burning 500-600 calories per day by breastfeeding, you will lose 2 lbs a week with this method, even though people will tell you that you still look pregnant.



4 thoughts on “How To Diet During The Postpartum Period”

  • Hi I just found your blog and I love it! I had a baby girl the same year you did but in October. I was wondering do you have the recipe for the blueberry cupcakes on your cover shot? Plus I was wondering if you have a hard time feeding your toddler as mine is picky. Maybe you can post some toddler recipes.

  • Hi – just came across your blog. Can you please tell me the name and recipe for the cupcakes in the picture currently on your home page.

    Thanks : )

  • hahahaha! Yep! Congratulations on baby #2. Both my boys were CSection. Glad to hear you’re doing well. Sounds like a typical day at our house. Though, now my youngest is 18 months.

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