Sometimes when I’m up to my neck in puke, poopy diapers, and other forms of bodily fluids and human waste, my toddler will say something funny or clever enough to make me relax and laugh again. Here are some classics:
- Recovering from the flu, she coughs and asks in a raspy voice: “Mom, why do I sound like a boy when I’m sick? And do boys sound like girls when they’re sick?”
- Mom…I think my pet termite is dead.
- Don’t poke my ear drumstick out with that q-tip!
- Let’s play a game. It’s called ‘I win and get a piece of chocolate‘.
- saw a picture of me pre- kids and excitedly exclaimed, “Mommy mommy you combed your hair! And you were smiling!”
- Mom, I’m hungry. Can I have some food to give me energy? I think chocolate will help.
- Do you get eye crispies from eating rice crispies?
- reading a book about animals to baby sister: ” This is a cow, you get milk from it. This is a pig, you get bacon from it.”
- Me: “I need to go by myself.”
Toddler: “Can I go by myself with you?”
- My name is not gorgeous!
- Holding a toy hammer and wrench, she tells me: “Come over here and lemme fix you mommy, you’re going to feel much better.”
- I did not hit her. She fell on my hand.
- Daddy is old, like 20. Mommy isn’t as old, she’s 17.
- Gives sister a toy: “See, mommy? I’m accommodating her.”